Greg Hoogendam

From the Autobiography of Monkey D. Luffy.

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 02:42:08 GMT

Chapter 1: I stab myself in the eye and adults cheer me on; or, I have terrible role models.
Chapter 2: "Don't eat that fruit!"; or, I eat that fruit.
Chatper 3: Of swordsmen and promises; or, Coby is a weenie.
Chapter 4: The Thief and the Jester; or, Can't sleep, Clown'll eat me
Chapter 5: Captain Usopp and his crew of 80,000 followers conquer the Grand Line in less than a day; or, Bullshit!
Chapter 6: The romantic chef; or, Krieg is an ungrateful prick.
Chapter 7: You are my Nakama; or, the Girl Who Bought Her Own Village.
Chapter 8: The End of the Beginning; or, Grinning On the Gallows.
Chapter 9: The Princess and the Whale; or, a Promise Made.
Chapter 10: False Hospitality; or, the Slaughter at Whiskey Peak.
Chapter 11: Land of the Giants; or, the Eternal Duel Between Men!
Chapter 12: All of the Other Reindeer; or, The Miracle of Drum Island.
Chapter 13: A Line in the Sand; or, A Bunch of Giant Ducks Running Through the Desert at Super-Speed, Hell Yeah!
Chapter 14: Skyward; or, ONE PUNCH!
Chapter 15: A War in Heaven; or, Will the Real Slim Deity Please Stand Up?
Chapter 16: THE AFRO OF EPIC MANLINESS; or, SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THIS FUCKING AFRO, YOU GUYS!!
Chapter 17: The Water City and the Two Departing Nakama; or, Things Fall Apart..
Chapter 18: To the Judiciary Island; or, Why Does Everyone on This Train Want to Kill Me?
Chapter 19: Declaration of War; or, We're Getting the Band Back Together!
Chapter 20: The Ship That Spoke; or, The Death of a True Friend. (Come on, you know you cried!)
Chapter 21: FIST OF LOVE, or; Coby is No Longer a Weenie.
Chapter 22: The Luffy Horror Picture Show; or, Since I am Dead I Can Take off My Head (to Recite Shakespearean Quotations).
Chapter 23: The Man in the Iron Mask; or, Duval the Discount Dimwit Doctor Doom.
Chapter 24: We Have Reached the Conclusion that Slavery is Bad; or, Shit Hits the Fan.
Chapter 25: BALLS OF PURE GOLD!!!
Chapter 26: Well At Least Things Can't Get Any Worse; or, Things Get Worse...
Chapter 27: TO BE CONTINUED

Huh?

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 15:14:01 GMT

Sooo...

My car was broken nto last night.
Apparently by the STUPIDEST thives in fucking California.

They only stole one CD.

The stereo, and nearly 200 OTHER CD's went untouched...

Dumbass motherfuckers.

Owies...

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 00:13:33 GMT

Okay, so, abut 5-6 years ago, i chipped a tooth. A molar. And having no jo or insurance, just sucked it up ad got nearly addiced to painkillers as it rotted, cracked and fell out chunk by chunk.

Fast frward to earlier this week.

That tooth, which I though long gone, is almost replacedd by a wisdom tooth.... and then it hurts.

It hurts bad, worse than it did when the tooth first got bad.

my mouth looks like I'm part squirrel bad.

I now have a job, and insurance, and go to the dentist.

Theres a root tip fromt he old molar still stuck in there, and the wisdom tooth is pushing on it...

So, next month, then have to cut my gum open and get the tip out...

... yay?

The Beagle has landed...

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 15:25:29 GMT

Monday, Amy at work informed us thather sisters friend had a beagle, free to a good home...

Now, my father LOVES beagles. Thinks their greatest dog int he world...

So, yesterday, when I got home, there was a fivemonth ol beagle pup named Axel int he living room...

So.

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 03:10:14 GMT

We would like to give out endorsement to scittish metal band Alestorm.

Why, you ask?

Two Words.

Pirate. Metal.

Let me state that again...

PIRATE.

METAL.

Its as fun as it sounds.

Oh, and one other thing...

Fri, 02 May 2008 21:37:49 GMT

While driving to the corner store for another pack of smokes... while OBSCENELY drunk...

I got pulled over.

Now., if I get a DUI, I lose my job and my license.... Good bye career...

I talked my way out of it.

Cop was super-cool, told me to slow it down and be careful, and to have a good time.

I didnt talk my way out of a ticket, but a DUI...

I'm sittin there in my car just PRAYING that God'll get me out of it...

And he DID.

God Likes Me.

How awesome is that?

Wild Turkey...

Fri, 02 May 2008 18:58:54 GMT

,, is a privilege. Not a Right.

this was brought home last night at a bachelor party, where, in the midst of multiple strippers, smokes and enough beer to flot the 7th fleet...

I decided to drink an entire bottle of the Turk.

And somehow wound up on the roof of the garage.

aaaaand fell OFF.

..... The nekkid ladies kissed it better, though h.h

I'm Alive?

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 22:33:15 GMT

Sooo, in general updateness.... I am indeed alive, and working like a good little wage-slave... Wal-mart.... I would hate you, but you feed me.

Work continues to slowly suck the soul from me. Now, I know I should be patient, I know my customers are mostly sick people...

But for CHRISTS SAKE, We are doing the best job we can, you inbred mouthbreathers! You dont have your refills because the doctor hasnt gotten back to us, or said 'no.' Not 'Wal-mart is bein mean to me!'. You dont get your vicodin because you got a hundred pills three fucking days ago, and unless you pop them like Sweet-tarts, you should have PLENTY!

... Sorry, had to vent.

Joined a gym back in January. By the time of my sisters wedding (may) I hope too look like I walked off the set of 300.

ooooooh Yeah.

And I went to the doctor today, and got happy fun meds for my migraines.

I also have become addicted to Dropkick Murphys. Damn you, Irish Punk Band from Boston!

Bought a 32 inch HDTV this week with my tax return. It is awesome. And then, I go and see the HD-DVD player for the Xbox 360 for $50....
I am tempted.

So Very Tempted.

But.... should I saddle myself with Betamax: The NExt Generation?

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 06:36:05 GMT

Sooo, went and saw Cloverfield.

.... yeah.

Because I said I would...

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 05:04:22 GMT

If you ask I will...

1. Tell you why I friended you.

2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.

3. Tell you something I like about you.

4. Tell you a memory I have of you.

5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.

6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.

7. In return, you must post this in your LJ.

ganked from Mina...

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 00:16:29 GMT

1. Do you have a tattoo?
2. How old are you?
3. Are you single or taken?
4. Fish?
5. Do you dream in color?
6. Do you have any recurring dreams?
7. How about them hipsters?
8. How did we meet?
9. What's your philosophy on life and death?
10. If you could do anything with me, what would it be?
11. What's your favorite guilty pleasure?
12. Do you like musicals?
13. What is your fondest memory of me?
14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?
15. If you could close your eyes and be transported anywhere in the world, where would it be?
16. What are you wearing?
17. Have you ever gone swimming after dark?
18. Have you ever sung in public?
19. If we had one day to hang out together, what would we do?
20. Which do you prefer - short or long hair?
21. What's your favorite day of the week?
22. What's your favorite color?
23. What's your favorite period in history?
24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you.
25. How many pets do you have right now?
26. What was your first impression of me?
27. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

Bleh

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 02:46:05 GMT

Due to a severe lack of funding, My birthday present to myself goes unpurchased...

I speak, of course, of Halo 3.

HOWEVER, I did buy myself another prezy.

DETHALBUM!

*comences headbanging.*

Hmmm..

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 18:26:06 GMT

Updatey time!

Been a weird week. Got into an accident on Tuesday. TOTALLY the other girls fault, but I know have to replace the rear clip of my car...

thank god her insurance will be paying for it, and the rental I'll be driving while its being worked on.

Mom got fired Thursday, leaving ME the sole wage earner in the house.... I know, HUH?!
But she'll find a job shortly, she always does, so... not really worried. Plus she was unhappy there, so. Maybe for the best.

Went to a party last night, got wasted, hit on girls in lingerie, partied to salsa music.... and fiddled with an iPhone at the AT&T booth...

Lord Help Me, I may buy one...

Like a reese's peanut butter cup...

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 14:48:43 GMT

The new Halloween is two great tastes that taste great TOGETHER.

I have an abiding affection for the Halloween franchise, and its silent antagonist.

I really like Rob Zombie, both as a musician and a director..

Putting the two together makes for a Good Movie that reminds of WHY Teens Should Not Have Sex. Because a seven foot behemoth of a man in a Jim Kirk mask will kill you brutally.

Well..

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 01:03:01 GMT

That was an emotionally draining day...

My cat died this morning. She was hit by a car, and died while we were trying to get her to the vet.

Been a bit... off... all day.

Why...

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 03:22:40 GMT

Am I considering getting a dog?

And why am I seriously considering a St Bernard?

Oi, Lurker!

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 03:10:44 GMT

http://www.roguesynapse.com/games/last_starfighter.php

Rarrr

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 03:42:55 GMT

I hate my customers. I HATE them.

Seriously, I know you wnat your medicen and all, but the more you hover, and check every five minutes to see if its ready, the longer its gonna take.

If I tell you it takes an hour, it takes a fuckin hour!

Fri, 18 May 2007 02:48:16 GMT

Doritos X-13d is made of WIN.

Holy crap, NINJA!

Thu, 17 May 2007 04:02:56 GMT

Wal-mart employs ninja. Its the only way his can be explained...

a display pallet apeared out of nowehre today. It wasnt there one minute, the next it was, just blocking half the window...

WAL-Y-WURLD NINJA, YO!

Also, I nearly choked to death when an absolutely gorgeuous girl in a catholic schoolgirl uniform came in today. She was like, seriously out of a Mads illustration. Damnednear a 'dear Penthouse, I never thought this could happen to me...' moment.

Short, bobbed black hair, plaid skirt just long enough to be decent, black thigh high socks, white shirt and little red vest made me HAPPY.

Gregs Day In COURT

Fri, 11 May 2007 21:24:46 GMT

Sooo, as I had the day off today, I went to court for my ticket.

Got in the docket, sat, waited, judge calls me up, reads the charges.

I plead no contest, he reduces my fin to just over $200, and lets me make payments.

There IS A God.

My Infection is nearly gone, too... thank you, biochemistry!

Well...

Sat, 05 May 2007 03:23:49 GMT

So, update time.

I work at wal-y-wurld full time... I'm retty sure this get me time off in Purgatory. I'm lucky that I get to hide in my pharmacy, and only deal with some of the people.. You couldnt PAY me enough to be out on the floor.

I do like it, though. Its a fairly easy job, wit decent pay, so... GO ME!

I got bit by a spider last week, and due to my scratching the irritating itch... I now have a staph infection...

Yeah. It sucks. I have to take monster horse pills for 10 days. Life is just gravy.

Aaaand I got a ticket fr running a redlight today. $400. They are out of their fucking minds.

I go to court next week, not fight it, but to get the fine either reduced, or in installments.

Thats all folks

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 23:57:48 GMT

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

stares at the phone...

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 04:38:01 GMT

Friday was my last day ath the prison, so... YAY!

No more spenidng $60 a week on gas just to get to work and back! No more fourty minute drive each way! NO MORE INMATES!

Am waiting for the Human Resources dude at Walmart to call me. I got the job in the pharmacy there... mostly cause my Pharmacist at the prison is Eva, the Walmart head pharmacists, Husband. Huzzah for Patronage!

Taking a dollar pay cut to work there, but, yaknow, with Gas? I break even. Go Me!

Hopefully I start monday... but I could also use a few days off so... no rush, HR dude!

Got God of War 2 yesterday afternoon... Have been playing steadily since. The Game is Fucking Awesome(tm).

Shame its probably the last great game for the PS2. But the thought of GoW3 is almost enough to make me contemplate a PS3. Maybe. In a few months. When I have money to spend on something like that. Probably not.

Yet.

Meanwhile, I butcher my way through greek mythology and grin while I do it. Seriously, put Kratos in 300, and he'd be all, 'Dude, Leonidas. I got this shit. Go bang your hot wife." Then proceed to kill every last persian in like, an hour. Tops.

So..

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 21:57:29 GMT

Who's go two thumbs and a new job at Wal-mart?

THIS GUY, b^_^d, That's who!

More later